Deployment Doubts: “Why am I here if I can’t do anything?”
In a heartbreaking interview, the ex-boyfriend of 20-year-old National Guard member Sarah Beckstrom said she questioned the purpose of her deployment to Washington, DC — expressing that it felt “pointless.”
Her former partner, Adam Carr, recounted how Beckstrom and her fellow Guardsmen were given limited authority while on duty. “They deputized them … and they gave them no rights to do anything,” he said. Civilians allegedly spat at them, hurled insults, and even threw objects — with the Guardsmen instructed only to call the police.
Though frustrated by the restrictions, Beckstrom reportedly believed in the mission to curb crime in the capital. “She wanted to make a difference,” Carr said. Yet her mounting frustration summed up to a poignant question: “Why am I here if I can’t do nothing? … Crime is bad, but it’s pointless if we can’t do anything.”
Tragedy Strikes: Shooting Near White House
Just days after voicing her doubts, Beckstrom and another Guardsman — Andrew Wolfe — were shot outside a Metro station in Washington, DC, near the White House.
Beckstrom succumbed to her injuries the following night, while Wolfe remains in critical condition. A 29-year-old Afghan immigrant, Rahmanullah Lakanwal, was arrested in connection with the attack.
Her death sent shockwaves across the country, stirring grief, outrage, and fresh scrutiny over the Guard’s mission, the vulnerability of deployed soldiers, and the broader implications for public safety and immigration policy.
Frustration, Purpose & the Burden of Protection
Beckstrom, who had joined the military straight after high school, reportedly volunteered for the Washington deployment, even for holiday duty — driven by a desire to serve and protect.
But her disillusionment highlights a deeper tension: when constraints prevent frontline troops from acting, is the mission meaningful — or dangerous? Her ex-boyfriend’s interview draws attention not only to systemic limits but to the psychological toll on service members who feel unable to fulfill their duties.
What the Incident Means for Guard Deployments and Public Safety
The fatal shooting and Beckstrom’s expressed doubts about her deployment raise urgent questions about:
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The mission’s clarity and effectiveness: If Guardsmen cannot act when provoked, does the deployment serve its purpose?
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The safety of troops under restricted engagement rules in hostile environments.
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The broader policy debate around domestic deployment of the military and how immigrants are vetted under security-sensitive operations.
As investigations into the shooting continue and public debate intensifies, Beckstrom’s story has emerged as a tragic symbol of the human cost of duty — and of what can go wrong when structure, authority, and mission intent become misaligned.
